What does 'Normal Eating' look like?

Because it can be hard to know in a culture that glorifies disordered eating

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One of the things that I get asked often by new clients, some weeks or even months into working together is: “What does normal eating look like?”

A pretty legit question. Especially in a culture that tends to glamorise and uphold unrealistic standards on eating behaviours. Add to that the confusion if you’ve done numerous diets, often with conflicting advice on what to eat and what to avoid.

And if ‘trauma is also at the table, then there are more challenges to contend with.

Another thing that I see people struggle with when they are moving away from diets and dieting is that I can be difficult to reclaim “healthy” foods, like fruit and vegetables. Bringing these back in, after some time of giving yourself full permission to eat ALL foods, can make you feel like you are back dieting again.

If you are eating a salad, does that mean you are dieting? If you are saying no to foods, because you don’t feel like eating them right now, does that mean you are restricting?

What about if you eat beyond comfortable fullness? Does that mean that you are bingeing?

Not necessarily. It is important to always remember that our eating behaviours and food choices take place within a specific context. Depending on the context and your intentions behind the choice, any food can be norishing or punishing. It isn’t about the food itself, it is about how you are thinking about it.

What is Normal Eating?

The best “definition” that I have found that explains what we can consider “normal” eating, is the definition by Ellyn Satter RD. A woman who has written books on child feeding and created the methodology Division of Responsibility (DOR).

Full discolsure; I have not read her books from cover to cover, and I am aware that there are some genuine critisicm on parts of her work.

That said, I still feel like her “definition” is worthwhile to consider. Not as something you have to be able to do at all times but because it offers a counter alternative to the diet and wellness focused culture we live in.

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it—not just stop eating because you think you should.

Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.

Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.

Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.

Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more.

Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating.

Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

It is worth noting that this particular definition does not consider neurodiversity. So with that in mind, I would like to add that “normal eating” is eating that ensures that your food intake is regular and adequate for your body’s needs. It is guilt free, shame free and compassionate. Especially when things are challenging.

Normal eating is not perfect or about perfection. It is eating in a way that serves, your body, your needs, your taste preferences, your skills and your accessibility to food.

In short, normal eating is flexible, but also doing the best we can with where we are and what we’ve got.

I hope this helps give you some kind of parameters for how you might want your relationship with food to be. Since we are now in the midst of the Easter Holidays, which is another food filled, chocolate focused time of the year, I would like to remind you kindly about this post that I wrote at Christmas, and to watch out for any desires to “undo damage”, and compensatory behaviours that may crop up in the following weeks.

Enjoy that choclate bunny! I sure will.