Is it possible to lose weight without dieting?

Go on, I know you want to know!

Photo by Elena Leya on Unsplash

Okay, okay… I know that the title feels a bit click bait-y. But I hope that you will hear me out on this one.

My immediate answer to this question is: I don’t know. An unpopular answer might be more like: I don’t think so.

But before you stop reading any further, I do want to let you know that I think it is entirely possible to focus on health supporting behaviours and actions, without having to make it about weight loss. (Scroll to the end for that)

I was listening to a recent podcast with someone, who had tried numerous diets and who eventually found the anti-diet movement. They shared their experience of relief and the freedom in being able to reintroduce many of the previously forbidden foods.  As a result of this newfound freedom with food they felt that instead of helping they felt it led to further over-eating. With this subsequently came weight gain. Over time they didn’t feel like their relationship have improved, and they still felt uncomfortable in their body.

So, they circled back to the question of: Can I lose weight in a healthy way? Not the extremes, or fads, but in a gentle healthy way.

I am sharing this here because I think this person’s experience is actually very common, especially when moving away from dieting on your own.

My Personal Experience

If you have listened to my own story, on the podcast, you will know that early in my career I had business cards that said “lose weight without dieting”. I did believe that this was possible. Mostly based on my personal experience of how when I stopped binge eating and my overall eating habits became more balanced, I did lose some weight.

At that time, my body settled at a point that was lower, than what it had been. I want to add here to give you a fuller context that since my initial recovery more than 15 years ago, my weight has fluctuated. Over these years I have been a few different clothes sizes (not that those are particularly consistent though!). However, my relationship with food has remained well. I have not binged like I did before I began my recovery journey, all those years ago.

What might have caused this weight fluctuation? Well things like, stress, work, different activity levels at different times, and probably some subtle changes in food choices. Any weight gain has prompted deeper dives in body acceptance and self compassion. I believe that an excavation of internalised anti-fat bias is equally important, as making peace with food is, for full recovery. And this suggestion comes from a person who even with the most recent weight gain, holds plenty of thin privilege.

Bodies are not static. They are always changing. You might lose weight, your body may stay the same or you might gain weight, if that is what your body needs to do.

When we focus on weight loss as an outcome, any approach becomes a diet by default

This might be a challenging thing to wrap your head around, I get that. Remember my business cards?

What I have learned is: When we lead with weight loss as the most desired outcome, or as the measured outcome, any approach to health becomes a diet. Even simple ‘wellness’ advice like increasing your fruit and vegetables intake or moving your body regularly turns into a diet, if / or when the main reason for doing so is trying to lose weight.

Also, when we are on a diet the risk for ending up in the merry-go-around of the Diet-Deprivation-Binge-Cycle increases. Exploring new foods, flavours and recipes with the goal of weight loss also tend to feel restrictive and dare I say it, boring.

Same thing with movement. Maybe going to the gym or running isn’t your preferred way of moving your body for enjoyment? But you’ve been told that you have to do this though, if you want to shrink your body.

What if you took up a form of movement that you actually enjoy? What would you pick then?

Another thing that I realised early in my career when I co-facilitated a “healthy weight loss” programme was this: If people did “everything right”, but did not lose weight, any other benefits that they may have gained, like having more energy or sleeping better, were instantly forgotten.

So then what?

Separating weight from health

I believe the most important thing we can do is to focus on separating weight from health. Just because you are not pursuing intentional weight loss, doesn’t mean that you can’t engage in health promoting behaviours. Those behaviours will still have a positive effect on your overall health.

One of the many misconceptions about Health At Every Size ® (HAES) is that it is anti-health. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you are new to HAES or if you have never heard of it, I encourage you to check out the updated principles and guidelines here.

If you want to get fitter, or stronger or more flexible you can work on those, independently of pursuing intentional weight loss.

If you want to support your digestive health, you can do that, without making it about weight.

If you want to cook new recipes, include more fruit and vegetable and want to try and to eat a wide variety of foods, you can pursue that without it being tied to weight loss.

It is important to remember that as soon as you make it about weight loss, it just turns into another diet and then you could find yourself on that slippery slope of disordered eating.

If not dieting, then what?

What if you want to pursue health, but you are tired of dieting… Is there some kind of middle ground?

First you might want to explore what the word and concept of health means to you. Not just physical health, but also mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Second, I do believe that in order to give space to let our bodies do what they need to do weight-wise, we have to root out our internalised anti-fat bias.

In the most recent podcast Anna Strickland shared a challenging thought: “In order to love and accept myself I had to imagine myself 10 times bigger than what I was, and ask myself could I love myself then? And if not, then why not?”

Thirdly, what are health goals you do want to work towards that are aligned with your values and that could add quality to your life, independent of weight?

Finally, I want to leave you with this: You are not bad or wrong for wanting to lose weight. There might be a lot of reasons for why having a smaller body makes sense. And why wouldn’t most of us want to be smaller, regardless of body size, when this is something we’ve been told forever that is attainable, attractive and something to work towards?

I believe in body autonomy. I believe in knowing and understanding why we might be unsatisfied with what we have. And I believe that you will have to weigh up the costs of pursuing intentional weight loss, for yourself, whilst also knowing that there are other paths of possibilities to take.

Our bodies are our homes, they will be with us for our whole lives. Caring for them with kindness is a reciprocal relationship. If you want to trust your body, you have to show it through actions that it can trust you too.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this: How would you pursue ‘health’, without dieting or focusing on weight loss as an outcome?